Monday, June 7, 2010

An update from the cube with high walls...

Thats right, its officially unofficial that I've started my new position and moved to the cube with high walls; and let me tell you, I'm loving it!
Officially unofficial? you ask. Well, I'm still doing both positions until they hire a replacement but they let me move down to my new home on May 10th and I'm doing research and development about 70% of the time. Its pretty awesome. I love being in the lab more even though I can't skype as much as I used to (I know, I know; when I was skyping I was stealing).
My new manager is from India and she is teaching me some crazy stuff about the Indian culture. Last week she started teaching me how to write the Hindi alphabet, which is really weird but very interesting. She is also very open to learning new things and discussing Christianity which is fun and nerve wrecking at times.
In other news..... I'm having a really hard time thinking of other news.....
Oh, I went to Chicago for 4 days over Memorial Day weekend and it was great. I didn't get to go to a Cubs game like I've always wanted but hopefully I'll get to do that next time. I did however get to spend some great quality time with my friend Josi. She mentored me for a couple of years in college but our relationship has shifted to a deep friendship and its always really great catching up with her. We stayed up late almost every night talking about some heavy stuff. One of my favorite questions that we talked about was, "Have you let anyone really know you?" More often than not, I think people just know the bare minimum of me. I think one of my greatest fears is that when someone gets to know me they will feel like they've been fooled for a long time. Or that they will be shocked by some of my thoughts, sins and elements of my character. However, it feels so good to be known. As Jos and I layed there talking in the dark there was no fear or shame or guilt and as we dug deeper into each other's closets of junk it was almost as if those secrets and revisited confessions melted away into a profound peace, one that I hadn't felt in a long time. It feels good to be known.
In that moment there was also a painful and beautiful feeling of God's presence. Painful because it had been so long since I felt so close to the Lord and it made me feel very very small, tiny in fact, and so beautiful that it nearly moved me to tears. (No tears actually fell, I couldn't ruin my tough rep) It reminded me of a time that I was riding in a car with a great friend listening to Kari Jobe's "You Are for Me" for the very first time and God's presence being thick and tangible. Its moments like those that make me desire Jesus.

So faithful
So constant
So loving and so true
So powerful in all you do
You fill me
You see me
You know my every move
You love for me to sing to you

I know that you are for me
I know that you are for me
I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness
I know that you have come down
Even if to write upon my heart
To remind me who you are

I miss you Kelsey Keizer. And, I'm praying that you'll be given an opportunity to be seen and known and to sit in the thickness of God's presence.

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