The Bachelor

The funniest blog on the bachelor. Ha!

CALLING ALL BACHELOR FANS

For those of you that watch the show we all love to hate, this list is for you. And for those even cooler people that read the Bachelor re-cap at www.ihategreenbeans.com, this is REALLY for you.

The Top Ten Most Memorable Moments from Monday night's show:

10. Jake saying, "This journey has been very lonely at times." Note to the pilot: YOU ARE DATING 25 WOMEN. You want lonely? Call Michelle.

9. Vienna being capable of reading. I don't even mean this mean, I just really was surprised that she read that Fantasy Suite invitation so clearly.

8. Ryan HIDING from the show. He was watching it with me for part of my Valentine's Day present lol and I kid you not, he was BURIED under the covers so many times because he said, "Erica- this is seriously PAINFUL to watch" in the most estranged voice ever lol.

7. Jake's necklace. Okay this is Week Two of Jake's Tribal Necklace. I'm not for sure it's his shout out to CBS that he could replace Jeff Probst or if he just really does think it's cool. This necklace serves as my own reminder that Jake really is a cheese ball and the kind of guy that I used to break up with and say, "You are just too nice for me... I need someone to make fun of me and you know... be clever."

6. "I HATE THIS SHOW I HATE THIS SHOW I HATE THIS SHOW" ...this what Ryan said every time Jake pulled a half naked girl in a hot tub and whispered, "I wanted this to be special just for you." The words "just for you" seem to lose some sentiment when your girl number 3 in the hot tub.

5. Did anyone else cringe at Jake's dance moves with Gia and the "accidental" touching of her chest lol? I hope Tenley didn't see that. I also wondered if Gia decided against NEVER taking off that necklace that became a bracelet?

4. I know ABC isn't calling me for episode titles, but if they were I would call this one: "Lays in Separate Bays." I guess Jake thought no one would care they were having sex with the same guy on the same island if he swooned each of them in a different bay. Classy, Jake.

3. The phone call from Ali. Please please please tell me ABC made her do that. That was so painful that I was literally getting embarrassed for her. As Jake clutched his forehead in despair, Ryan filled in Jake's thought process for me, "Oh man... what to do? Do I tell her to come back so I get some action from her too or will that seem too obvious and horrible of me? Is all of this even worth hearing her wailing again?"

2. JAKE POKING VIENNA WITH THAT SWORD. Okay, that is all I'm going to say about that moment and I will let your mind go wherever it wants with it. Ewwwwww.

1. The number one memorable moment from Monday night's Bachelor were these words that my boyfriend said to me before I went to bed: "I love you more than I hate The Bachelor." THIS MEANT MORE TO ME THAN HIM PROPOSING.